Monday, June 14, 2010

We must be the change...

Scarlett's Rules for a Better Life #1: Everything in my closet must fit, and fit well.
It sounds simple enough, right? But no, it's not. I'm willing to bet that I'm like a lot of people out there. My closet is filled with "almost fits" and "man, I'm going to diet until I fit into thats!" and "it was such a great deal, so what if it doesn't fit quite right?"

And what happens? Day after day it hangs there, taking up space. Day after day you see it and it reminds you that no, you still haven't lost the weight, you still have no fabulous celebrity event to wear that dress to, and you wasted money you could have used on something much more fun on a deal you can't wear. Every time you open that closet door, you're met with the guilt of failing, and really, is THAT any way to start the day?

So here's what I'm going to do about it:
I'm going through my room piece by piece, pulling everything out of my closet if it's not there already. In order to go back into my closet, it must FIT. If it doesn't fit, it gets donated to someone who will actually wear it and probably needs it more than I do.

There are a few exceptions to this; my senior prom dress doesn't fit, but it has sentimental value. My competition choir dress also doesn't fit, but it's a stunning black formal that I could probably sell to someone for a decent amount, so no donations. Same thing with my senior homecoming dress and the few expensive costumes that I have left in my closet. They don't really fit, but I'm sure I can sell them, and I'd rather make a little bit of money off of them than donate them.

Anything with a hole or a stain (unless it's gardening/outdoor work-clothes) goes. Anything that fits me too tightly to comfortably wear to work, goes.

Even as I'm writing this, I'm finding myself making excuses and justifications for hanging on to things. Why the hell do I have these attachments to piles of clothing that I can't wear and that just takes up space in my world and clutters my head? Is it because I'm remembering what it felt like to wear them, back when I was a size 6 and had a perfect body that ironically, I thought was too fat? So every time I'm looking at them, I'm feeling bad about myself...why is it that I can't let that go? Am I that masochistic that every morning is a new opportunity to beat myself up?

No more, it's time for a change. It's time to let go and release that tension, guilt, and sense of failure. It's time for a new beginning.

Anyone with me? Tell me how it goes for you. Maybe we can stare down these demons together.

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