I've been kind of in a slump with my blogging lately, and I've been trying to figure out why.
It's not that my Muse isn't speaking. She is. She just has no interest in blogging, she'd rather work on fiction projects instead, which definitely has it's value, but...it's still not blogging.
You see, I used to be a GOOD blogger. Not on this blog, on my Livejournal. (Which, you won't find, so don't even try looking.) Every day, sometimes many times a day, for YEARS. From 2002 to 2011. I was an active part of the community, had several groups I contributed to regularly, and a feed of LJ users who would respond to me on the daily, just like I would respond to them. I never had to struggle for an entry, it just came.
Here, though, I don't know. It's harder, and I've been trying to figure out why.
For some reason, Blogger feels like more of a high pressure situation to me. It feels like everyone is staring at my follower count, and if it doesn't go up, I must be doing something wrong. If people don't comment on a blog entry, then it's like shouting into the ether; it makes me feel better, but it really doesn't count.
Why do I feel like this?
I'm guessing part of the reason has to do with how I got into Blogger to start with. A friend...or friend at the time...had/has a blog that's pretty high profile with an insane follower count, and had a pretty high profitability factor. I'd lamented to her that I'd missed blogging (my LJ had been unused for several months) and wanted to get back into it, she encouraged me to check out Blogger and said that if she could figure out the formatting, she knew I could. I figured, what did I have to lose, so I signed up.
The problem was, I found myself trying to emulate her. I wanted my follower count to be high, I wanted people to read my entries and comment constantly, I wanted companies to read my reviews and send me money or free products. Heck, I even think my first entry was a product review.
But I wasn't writing for ME, I was writing what I thought people wanted to read.
We just figured out why the Muse isn't speaking for Blogger, didn't we?
I can sympathize. I really do enjoy blogging but I second guess myself constantly because I know everything I put out there is public, and I am highly conscious of the audience and potential for people like great aunts and uncles to find it and know more about my life than I would normally share at a family reunion. Not that I am embarrassed, just self-conscious.ReplyDelete