This is is probably going to seem like one of those posts where I might as well be saying "when *I* was a kid...." Sorry about that. It is what it is.
I guess I took it for granted. When I was younger, when you got engaged, married, or were expecting a baby, it was a moment of celebration with all of your family and friends. I guess it's just how my family always was; when you had a big moment in your life, you invited all of your family and friends to celebrate with you. It wasn't about the biggest party, or the biggest gift, or the best status among the social community.
I remember being invited to weddings in a church where everyone was invited, and it was about having your friends around you to celebrate with you, even if the couple couldn't afford more than cake and fizzy apple juice to share with their friends. It wasn't about how fancy you could make it, it was about sharing this moment with the people who cared about you.
In the interest of full disclosure, I'll admit that this post is in direct relation to the fact that I wasn't invited to my friend's wedding. I wasn't invited to the shower or the bachelorette party, either. Yet, this is a person who (up until this happened) I would have called in case of emergency, in case I needed a shoulder to cry on, or in case I had a night off and wanted to share a bottle of wine with a friend.
I understand weddings are expensive. I understand that brides and grooms have to narrow the field of the people that they invite for financial reasons. I know that the reason I wasn't invited is twofold: 1) They had to cut out the people that they weren't 'super-close' to cut down on costs and 2) I can't afford to give them a fancy gift from their registry. I get that the bride had to make her decision and not invite all of her friends to maximize the benefit to her and her new husband-to-be.
But shouldn't the fact that she pranced to me, excitedly, sharing her new ring the day after she was proposed to mean something? Shouldn't the fact that her fiance contacted me BEFORE he proposed, because he wanted help in proposing beautifully mean something?
Call me crazy. I'm not engaged. I'm not married. I've never been proposed to...really (long story, don't ask).
But personally, I'd much rather have a huge fricking party, a barbecue on the beachfront, with all of my friends and family there, rather than some big, status-filled event. I'd want everyone who wanted to celebrate with me to be there, regardless of their ability to pay for gifts. If that meant I didn't rent a big fancy ballroom for our reception, and instead had a smaller, more conservative event, I'd do it. I'd much rather be surrounded by the people who have shaped my life; to be able to hug and kiss-on-the-cheek all of the people that are happy for me and want to share in my day.
I don't underSTAND why weddings have become this huge deal. Why a bride would rather have a super expensive, glamorous wedding with only 20 of her friends, excluding the people that are just "average".
I DO, however, understand why shows like 'Bridezillas' are so popular. Because there are so many people like me that don't understand why friends and family are pushed aside and hurt (for a LIFETIME), so that brides can have their moment in the sun.
You can feel free to remind me of this blog when I finally get married.
But I'm sure that I'm already going to be at my giant, cheaper reception, surrounded by everyone who loves and cares about me. Because I'd rather have the people that make my world magical beside me. Even if it means that I don't get to wear diamonds and have a sparkling ballgown.